166: MC5

I vividly remember when I was a kid and still skating. Whenever we'd find a new spot, perhaps a nice set of curbs, or maybe a new industrial park with a sweet bank, we'd hoard it amongst our little group. That new secret spot, was our secret, because we knew that if everyone heard about it, it's likely get busted or closed. Same thing went for finding a new mini ramp. If the kid's parent's realized how much traffic would be jumping their fence to trespass and ride their ramp, no way would they have let little Johnny Ripper build that ramp. Secret Squirrel type stuff...

I have to admit riding was like that for a bit. I remember when Elk Neck first opened up, hell even Middlerun in 1991, was like the magical secret spot. So Rad. It was exactly this same spirit that Buddy found a secret bouldering spot, really freaking local to us. Friday night after work we went and did a little exploring and freaking hit a gold mine. A few hours later as darkness ascended on our little group (Buddy, Rachael, Christian, Monkey and I), we walked out of the woods exhausted and exhilarated. I only freaked out once, but I look forward to getting another shot at actually finishing the problem and not having Rachael pulling me over the top out....

One thing I don't understand... I mean peace loving damn dirty hippies are supposed to love the environment right? I mean earth day everyday right? So why the fuck would you hike into the woods and on beautiful boulders, spray paint peace signs? I mean, perhaps they need to go back to dirty hippy school, but graffiti in nature kinda misses the whole point of being a damn dirty hippy right?

BTW been listening to a bunch of MC5 today. I think they might me be new favorite band. Especially the live stuff. So freaking good.

Fairhill Classic was today. Buddy the Keg Breaker, Rotten Rob, Potty Mount Princess, Eric E and I worked the expert/sport pool stop marshalling station today.

We DID NOT HAVE A BEER STOP. And this is clearly is not beer:

we make this look good:

Rotten and Buddy T. Kegbreaker test the water:

Perfect, and Pete agrees:
Kuhn Dog and Auer were battling on the trail, and splash fighting in the pool.

Big Bush cannonballed in:

Travis, rocking his first expert race, cools off and just wanted to know who the dude in the loin cloth holding his bike was:

Always wash your Peaches!!

Jimmy Z gets refreshed!!

International Man of Mystery, Les Leech double dipped, splashing down on the way in and the way out of South Park. Stay thirsty my friends, stay thirsty.

Nothing like a nice swim on a hot day!

Fergie gets into the act!

The Queen of Rock herself splashed down. I might note she was the only sport rider to splash down, I'm not saying sport riders take themselves too seriously, I'm just saying...

All Hail the Queen of FUCKING Rock! Yeah Anne Rock!!

Rotten and I reload...

People kept trying to grap our saftey devices:
way more of Rotten than you wanted to see.
respect.

faticus

165: i'm at the mall on a diet pill

Been trying to get to work late all week. Today I succeeded.

Going into my subpar time trial last week, I knew I had a break coming up. Perhaps on some level that played into my subconscious and contributed to my suckyness. Perhaps, I am just getting fatter and slower. At least I had the most doubles for the second half of the season in our division.

Regardless, I am currently on day 5 of a 10 day break. Bikes are all stored in the basement. I am one of those guys that Kerry Litka frowned upon for throwing away perfectly good weather to ride and race in, saving themselves for cross, when the weather is cold and bad. Now she writes for all the cross magazines. Bigger flip flop than John McCain. Good to her, pay the bills. She’s a nice lady. I’m a such a douche (Jan, the smartest man in town told me so).

"faticus, you're a douche bag."

Wheels are being re-glued, I am having Slick Rick build me a second set of tubies… New Chain Rings too… Time to find out if my efforts to gain power have been successful. It’s July but damn, I’m starting to lust over Den's, Mike's, Kevin's, and Anthony’s cross pictures. Then there’s this. Facebook for crossers.

Yes, I am geeking out.

So what am I doing with my ten day break you ask? Eating- A lot. I expect to break 180lbs by Friday. I’ve also been watching some movies, No Country for Old Men is no joke. Anton Sugar is one of the 5 best villains of all time. (Darth Vader, Hannibal Lector, Delores Umbridge, and Lance Armstrong are my other four).

Also been doing a bit of reading, a bit of resting, and taking subtle jabs at people in my blog. (perhaps you have noticed)

Buddy and I are going to be course marshalls for a section of the Fairhill Race this weekend. Notice I said we were going to Marshall, NOT HAVE A BEER STOP. From day one, Buddy and I have NEVER said we were going to have a BEER STOP. Apparently everyone from the current president of the trail spinners (wink, wink, nod, nod) to anyone who passes Todd on the trail is under the assumption that Buddy and I are having a beer stop.

This prompted a 7:30am phone call from Todd to insure that Buddy and I HAVE NO BEER.I heart Todd. But seriously, We never told anyone we were having a BEER STOP. There will be NO BEER STOP. And the truth is I’m kinda bummed, NOT BECAUSE THERE WILL BE NO BEER STOP, but at the insinuation, that if Buddy and I are volunteering, then we must be doing a BEER STOP.

As a promoter, I understand where Todd is coming from, I don’t like beer stops, I don’t want one at our races either. I was the one that made the decision to have a dry Granogue Race this year. I get all that. But damn, am I being punished for past sins or something? Try to volunteer and help out, and get the principal call in the morning. Maybe I’m watching too many High School movies. Too much drama.

I guess I’ll have to go stuff my face some more to make myself feel better.

Pass the cheesecake bitch.

respect

faticus

for those scoring at home subtle jabs went to:

Kerry Kitka

Jan Von Doom

John McCain

Lance Armstrong

Beer Stops (wink, wink, nod, nod)

Trail Spinners

Fairhill Rangers

164: go west fitzy...

Friday night much of the DCCoD community gathered to raise a toast to our buddy Mark Fitzwater, who like Dangerous Dan, Mike and Jeanie, and Katie before him, has heard the calling west, and could not resist. I have been on teams with Fitzy as long as I have been on teams. First on Wooden Wheels and then riding for Michael and Jessica. As a team director he set the standard, supporting our community through countless 24hr teams, and building an incredible record that earned him the nickname "Johan". As a rider, Fitzy was one of the smoothest guys I got to ride with, and put together a hell of a endurance resume of his own over the past few years. Fitzy has pretty much built the "Weymouth's section" of Granogue into what it is today. He has always busted his ass to make sure the Granogue races came off the best, and made sure folks always enjoyed his section. A great story teller, always ready to share a slice of his world with you, Fitzy has been beloved in our community. Colorado better treat him right.

Friday morning saw Monkey and I on the road early. The past two weekends Buddy, Rachael, Diane and I have headed out on climbing adventures that involved getting lost and wandering around the woods. Today Monkey and I got lost on route 611 north.

At 7:45, I had kinda resolved that I was going to miss my start, but still had a shot to get Monkey to hers. We called Ethan woke him up, and had him map quested us directions. (thanks man)

I got there, picked up my packet and squeezed in a 15 minute warm up on the trainer, while firing back a redbull, before heading to the start. Not my ideal warm up, but what the hell.

From looking at past running of events here, I knew I had to pull a time around 22 and some change to get a good result. My time of 23:18 however did not deliver such a pretty result. It's okay, I had fun, and really I gave it everything I had. I took off, put it in my biggest gear and turned it as fast as I could. 25.7 mile per hour average for the race. I knew my result was going to be ugly when local honch Spencer, who started :30 seconds behind me, caught me with 2 miles to go. I'm strong right now, but I don't have any form, I had fun today. I can be better.

I was also super proud of Monkey in her first time trial. She was worried about being able to break 30 minutes for the 10 miles. She didn't think anyway, anyhow she could average over 20 mile per hour. Despite borrowing E-town's helmet that she couldn't keep out of her face, she finished in 28:38 or so. She was very pleased. I was very proud of her.

The on the drive home, yeah, we got lost again. We counted 7 starbucks while we were lost. It was beautiful.

Pictures by Anthony Skorochod. Super good dude, I think I'm gonna get a t-shirt made out of this one. The helmet makes it a classic.

good luck Fitzy.

respect

faticus

163: ONE FACTORY

a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...



the Brevoort brothers and I decided to make a small skateboard/freestyle BMX t-shirt company.



We made T-shirts.



Okay we made 12 T-shirts, and rode a lot.

Pretending we were a company gave us excuses to make videos.

We made videos and had huge video premire parties while my parents were away.

2ft high 1/2 pipe in the basement.



living room packed with dirty skaters for the video show. Here Mike, Joe and I try to not kill ourselves in our 1991 opus "let it ride" . Here's my run from 1990's "useless footage".

Thanks to Mike for putting these up. I feel really old now.

as a side note, I fell off my skateboard trying to go to the mailbox today.

btw did you see Super Chunk's boo boo.




poor kid. in for a world of hurt. Just like Uncle Faticus.


respect
faticus

162: Hershey is for Hippies

So my wife, she is a huge DMB fan. As a result I went to my first show at the E-Center, just across from Philly, 4 years ago. The crowd was a lot of old grateful dead guys, tied died shirts and definitely that phish/dead/dirty hippie feel. Hippies aren't my deal, but generally are pretty nice folks. I like nice people.

Over the last few years I have found myself at more than one of these shows in Philly. Slowly but steadily, the crowd changed. First it evolved into a frat rat patty crowd, who only went crazy when Dave made a reference to getting high. Which he does pretty often. Honestly, not my gig, but that's cool.

Then last year it went totally bad. "Joey and Drama Queen" hit the scene. Seriously the last show I swear was a series of outtakes from hot chicks with douche bags. As a side note, those girls kinda scare me, and not in a hot good way. And they are really not cool to sit next to at a show, not one bit.

Friday night, Monkey and I ventured to Hershey, PA for the DMB/Black Crows show. The show was great, my only complaint would be that the Black Crows set was way too short. DMB looked like they were having lots of fun, and played the best set I have seen in my way too many DMB shows. Don't tell Monkey, but I actually enjoyed myself.

Best of all, I found all the hippies! They were hanging out in Hershey. The crowd was very festive in the fields we parked in, (thanks to the Hebe clan for a nice cold beer!). Old grateful dead folks were a plenty, as well as girls with good tattoos. The crowd was really into the show, not being the show, people were friendly, and dancing not like they were in a NYC club, which at a Dave show never made sense to me, but like they were god damn dirty hippies! Yeah Dirty Hippy Dance!

Dirty dudes, white dreads, the smell of weed everywhere. Long haired freaky people ! They must have all had the munchies really bad, and have been hanging out in Hershey for the chocolate. Friends, for my concert money, if I have a choice between sitting next to the long island drama queens or a dirty hippie, well pass me the petruli... Hershey was outstanding.

Drive home was uneventful albeit longer than coming from philly, as I hit the pillow at 2:00am.

Saturday morning I was up early as these guys arolled by the homestead and we headed down to the pokerrun, which was a great ride:

Buddy primarily set the pace for the first hour, followed by E-town in the second, and I finished out the Maestro duties for the reminder of the ride. Roughly 32 miles in just under 3 hours, counting the ride in from the house. We were also joined by Kid Chris and Brad Clark who I am certain carries a wallet like this. Needless to say, it was nice little ride.

The course was fun, but I'll be honest I miss the days where there were actually cards that you picked up at the five different stops. You know when the poker run was actually a poker run, not me paying to ride the trails that are basically my back yard and getting a raffle ticket. the trailspinners are a great group, lets hope the mend this great event for next year.

Say a prayer to the employees of all the Chuck E. Cheese's of the world tonight. I had the controlled chaos of those poor souls thrust upon me as I helped my 5 year old nephew party up on his birthday.

Seriously, pray for those poor people. I did have fun hanging out with my newphews. SuperChunk and I tore it up on teh rides:

be safe. Smile and wave.

respect.

faticus

161: packie

So I stop in the packie after my ride Friday night.


There is this friendly gentleman who greets me.


gentleman: " hey there buddy, how you doing?"

me: "great, it's the weekend, just finished a nice bike ride, I have the champagne of beer in my hand, how can I go wrong?"

gentleman: "you are a young man, how old are you son?"

me: " thirty-seven, thank you calling me young."

gentleman laughing, "you just married?"

me:" nope, been married almost 10 years, I have a wonderful wife..."

gentleman holding up his large bottle of vodka, kinda gives me the fish eye : "That's pretty good still drinking beer at 10 years, at 21 years of marriage it's vodka for me, I gotta drink this entire bottle just to look at her now..."


the cashier, laughing: "will you stop harassing this man, get out of here..."


we all laughed and wished each other well. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he was coming back for a re-fill and not his first run.

been riding the fuck out of Fairhill. Five of the last six days. I'm not trying to learn the course or pick up some secret line or something like that before the big race. In fact, here is my declaration that I will not be racing. Buddy T. Kegbreaker, Rotten and I have something else planned... Something far more sinister...

But I digress, Fairhill is that good right now. So good I can ride it 5 of the last 6 days, taking largely different routes, and I'm still looking forward to riding it again. It's that fucking good right now.

If you can make it out there you should, worst case scenario come to the poker run Saturday, best case scenario, come out and get lost in the miles, and miles of trail, and make your own adventure. You won't be sad trust me. It's that fucking good right now.

So with Dieter going to art school in the fall, whose gonna start a cross count down? Bilson? Rock? Kim? Zayne? Jim? I really need a countdown to cross...

be safe out there, and go ride fairhill. You can thank me later.

respect
faticus

160: naked rear choke hold

“STEP INTO THE OCTAGON!!” my young nephew exclaimed has his stepped into the wading pool set up on my parent’s deck as he thrust his arms into the air victoriously.
“What is all that about?” my sweet sister in law asked us, as we all laughed at my nephew’s declaration. “probably some star wars thing or something.” My cagey brother replied.
My sweet sister in law nodded accepting my brother’s logic.
My gut was that my young nephew was clearly making a reference to Mixed Martial Arts or MMA as it’s rabid fans refer to it. I have to admit that coming from a wrestling family, I have found myself lured into watching a match or two. I enjoy the ground game, and physicality of the sport, but I’ll also admit the ground and pound stuff kinda makes me sick. The often bloody display is nothing short of barbaric from my standpoint. After watching a match or a part of a match, usually a brief stop on a channel surfing voyage, I feel as though somehow my humanity has been lowered a bit. You know like how you feel after watching a little Jerry Springer, Cheaters or porn.

“STEP INTO THE OCTAGON!” my young nephew repeated as the kids, who had been bombing around the back yard charged back to the kiddie pool to refresh on this hot summer’s day. We all kind of laughed at his action, it was really funny. We sipped our drinks, and watched the kids play some more, when out of nowhere my young nephew jumped on my parent’s dog, wrapping his arms around him, and yelling “NAKED REAR CHOKE LOCK!” We almost spit out drinks out as we grabbed him up off of the dog, in amazement. We tended to the family dog, making sure he was in fine order. My sweet sister in law, made sure her son would never utter the words “naked rear choke lock” or try such a hold on a pet or anyone again. After he walked away, we burst into laughter. Perhaps inappropriate, with the realization that no one was hurt, it was damn funny to witness.

I have to admit I remembered a time in my own youth were I leapt from the picnic table onto my younger brother sitting in our kiddie pool, on the same deck, yelling “JIMMY SUPERFLY SNUKA!!” it must be in the genes I tell you, in the genes.

Got together with the boys last night for a little ride. It was the first Thursday night Re-Todd ride I had done this year. The group was stacked: Todd, Buddy t. Kegbreaker, Peaches, BL Rich, Jeb, Wes T. Conqueror, Kurtee, Leo, Randall, a couple of other fellas and myself. Wes and I were running late and had to team time trial over to the ride. I pretty much blew my wad in that first 15 minute effort. The rest of the night was spent hanging on for dear life, as we twisted our way around the fine trails of the Fairhill Nature Center. Todd set as solid of a pace as I can remember in a very long time. I heard something like 12.5 average being thrown around after the better part of a two hour jaunt. The trails were superhero fast. The trails had Superhero traction.

Superhero fast + Superhero traction = Superhero fun.

Peaches and I were talking about my time trail position, and he shared with me that he was working on a new mountain bike position himself.


Graham Obee has the superman position. Peaches has the Invader position. Beautiful.

I’m gonna go put a cheeseburger in a naked rear choke lock now.

Respect.
faticus